Today is the anniversary of Roe vs. Wade. I saw online through a friend that it's also (according to NARAL) Blog For Choice. While I myself am not a pro-choice person, I am blogging about it. And just let me say first and foremost, I am not attempting to sway any of you or start a giant debate - just stating my personal views and opinions.
Blog for Choice wants to know what "Trust Women" means to you. As you probably know, I am a strong supporter of natural childbirth and midwifery. I feel the woman knows what's best for her & her child. Where she wants to birth, how she wants to birth, what provider she feels is best for her - I think those are her choices. But I also think that there are certain situations where the mother might not know what's best. Let's say you have a known medical condition that would make birth extremely difficult and you refuse to go to a hospital or be seen by a doctor, you just want to do it all yourself - I don't think that's very responsible.
Oftentimes, I don't think teenagers that get pregnant are very responsible. (Not all are, but most are very immature and/or not ready for life as an adult.) As a person who got pregnant at a relatively young age by a guy I hadn't dated very long, abortion seemed to be a quick fix to some people. I was honestly shocked when I told someone I was pregnant and they flippantly responded, "You're getting an abortion, right?" I got told SO many things about it - that it would be over with quickly, my parents would never have to know I was pregnant, that I could go back to my regular life, etc. It all just seemed like a cop-out to me and very irresponsible. I was careless so I was just supposed to go "fix" the problem and get back to my regular old life, like nothing had happened? I just couldn't picture that.
I don't think at eighteen years old and fresh out of High School that I knew exactly what was best for me. I discussed "our situation" with the father-to-be, I listened to what family and friends had to say about it and I prayed. Abortion was never an option for me personally - when it was brought up, I couldn't even imagine it. But the choice was still there. And I am so glad I didn't choose it.
Since then I've had people tell me that I've ruined my life and that having a child young destroyed any options that I had. I don't agree. My life has taken some different twists and turns but I wouldn't have it any other way. That guy I mentioned earlier? He turned out to be pretty darn awesome. We'll have been married for five years in March. I see us growing old together and celebrating a lot more anniversaries. He's taken care of me and he's a good husband & father. My children (yes, there's another one now!) have given me a new perspective and a different take on life - I've become less self-centered and more giving and understanding. They're a challenge and a joy. To imagine these beautiful children gone to satisfy my own selfish desires? I can't. I always wanted to be a writer and I do write, almost every day, in this blog. And people actually read it! New opportunities for me are on the horizon. I still have some friends from High School and I've met new friends along the way. I had a job for awhile but am now a stay at home momma - and I love it! I live in a nice house and I have a vehicle to drive. I don't see anything that would indicate that my life has been ruined. I always wanted to be happy and I am.
I don't feel that I have the right to blatantly make decisions for others but for me, abortion is not and never will be an option. I don't think it should be anyone's go to option, really. I believe life is precious and that children are a gift from God...but I'm also not crazy/fanatical - meaning, I don't want to blow up abortion clinics and I'm not going to shun you if you've had one. Each person's situation is different and I can't even begin to imagine what victims of rape or people with severe medical conditions must be feeling. I just hate to see them or young girls who are scared being pressured into it or just choosing it because it's "quick and easy." People who abuse it or use it as birth control sicken me. Choosing to have a baby is not always the end of your life, as I said before, and adoption is a great option that I fully support. There are so many families out there that would love to welcome a baby into their lives that can't for whatever reason. Just because you choose to have a baby, it does not mean that your life is over.
My final thought is that I hope that women out there that are faced with that monumental decision of whether or not to keep their baby will take a moment, truly think it over and be responsible for their decisions. If you're someone who's struggling with this decision, don't hesitate to send me an email. I can't promise I'll have all the answers but I'll do my best to help.