Thursday, June 10, 2010

Unfollowing

Someone I like and admire stopped following my blog this week. It wasn't something like they switched to a different RSS reader or something either - it was a removal. It saddened me a lot because for one, I'm too sensitive (not always one of my better traits) and for two, it left me confused and wondering – what did I do wrong? Did I irritate them? Did I post too much or not enough? After I got over being sad, I got offended. How dare they! Who do they think they are? I'm interesting! I'm fun! Right? Right????? Okay, maybe I didn't get that offended. But I was a little.


Later on that night, I got to thinking about all the mom bloggers I've met over the years and just people in general. Some people I've met (online or in person) and I didn't get along with them at ALL. Of course, I don't expect to agree with everyone 100% because obviously we're all different people. But some people you just don't mesh with. In the "blogosphere" it could be for a variety of reasons - they post too much, you don't like their writing style, you don't have any common interests, they only post giveaways, etc. So if I didn’t "click" with some of the bloggers I've met, what's to say that this person just didn't click with me? I shouldn't be judging them because I've done the exact same thing.

Regardless of the reasons they stopped following me – it doesn’t really matter. I shouldn’t be blogging to try and please other people or just because I want to be popular with certain people. I should be blogging for the reasons I stated at the bottom of this post. And of course, I still am...I just got momentarily distracted. ;) So I'm shrugging this off and moving on.

I'd like to hear your thoughts on the subject! What causes you to stop following someone's blog or social network? And if you're a blogger, have you ever fretted like me when someone unfollowed you?
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11 COMMENTS:

  1. I am sooo happy you posted this! I thought I was the only one that thought that way! To the point, and you are absolutely correct! There are MANY bloggers competing with one another and forget what this is all about! I for one, love blogging and sharing deals, that is what I am about! You rock girlfriend!
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  2. I have so few followers that I'd know if someone stopped following me and it would be sad because all but two of them are people I actually know LOL

    I've recently thought of unfollowing a blog that I've usually really enjoyed because I've become uncomfortable with the "I used to be fat, now I'm skinny, you fat people need to lose weight" vibe she puts off. It's irritating to say the least.
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  3. No one has un-followed me yet but I think it would probably upset me for a little while. I think we put so much of ourselves into our blogs that it feels personal when someone un-follows. I would certainly wonder why they had stopped and try to figure out what I'd done 'wrong'. Like you say though, we should remember to blog for the reasons we started.

    I have un-followed a couple of people. One because I just couldn't relate to them, I'd enjoyed a couple of posts but then they were only blogging about the same thing which I had no interest in. The other I left because their blogged turned into nothing but giveaways and meme's, no real content at all and that really puts me off.
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  4. Okay, I hope this works. I always try to comment on your blog entries, and it only works sometimes. I have no idea why, but this is my first time commenting since you got the new commenty thing.

    Anyway, I think it's a normal reaction to feel slighted when someone unfollows your blog! I have gotten unfriended on various other social networking/blogging sites and it feels like a personal thing. But then I have also done the unfriending, so I guess it evens out. I usually unfollow/unfriend people because we have different interests or values, and aren't really connected.
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  5. I think I have reacted in a similar fashion when I realize someone has stopped reading/following my blog. However, once I "remembered" the original reason I started blogging then I tend to get over it.

    I think what bothers me more than anything is lack of comments. I know people are reading my blog, I can see that from the information I get. I know what pages they are even reading, but for whatever reason, most people are not commenting. My thought is maybe the type of posts I do, are not geared for most people to feel comfortable commenting on.

    Good post!
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  6. Thanks for the thoughts everyone! As it turns out the person posted a very bitter & angry post about Christians after they unfollowed me soooo I guess I know what the reason is now!

    Coupon Mamacita, thank you so much! And oooooh, your blog is right up my alley - I'm following you! :)

    Chrissi, I have had to do that before as well. Sometimes the vibe just isn't right.

    Pumpkin & Piglet, I think you said it all right there - we put so much of ourselves in our blogs/writing that it hurts when people unfollow - it feels a lot more like something personal. I'm also the same way about blogs with no "real" content.

    Shauna, I'm so glad you're able to comment! :) I'm guessing you probably couldn't before because of that darn commenting system I had - it was just not a good thing for me.

    Melissa, I understand that! I have been HORRIBLE about commenting on other's blogs recently and I'm playing catch up tonight. I think sometimes people aren't sure what to say but they do read. I have a few "silent readers" who are glad to read but just don't really like commenting.
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  7. Great post! Sorry so late, now that I'm working full time, I don't get to visit the blogs as much! I know, that's happened to me and you're right, it hurts, but then you have to get over it, maybe you should have "following" policy like I do (in my sidebar) I thought I was being too harsh, but people have actually left positive feedback!
    (FYI-your pic from the Blog Frog and your Blogger profile are different, as is mine, so it's been throwing me off---but my point is, thanks for continually visiting AND commenting!!)
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  8. Great topic!! While I would have felt the same way as you....the better point you make is that what works for some of us, doesn't for others. Guess that's the reason there are millions of blogs out here today, right? For the record, I like your blog and plan on checking in. I clicked your link from MBC because the name of it sounded interesting....lucky me! It is!

    Thanks for being you!! I'd love for you to check out my blog where I have a strict rule of also "being me."

    Hope to see you around each others' pages!!

    Lesa
    http://LesaSpeaksOut.com
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  9. It has happened to me before also and you always wonder why they stopped following. I tend to not follow anyone but visit lots of blogs by adding them to my favorites. It's just easier for me to handle all the blogs that way. I comment alot so people now that I read their blog frequently. I recently stumbled upon your blog and looking forward to future posts.
    Blessings
    Diane
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  10. I would not worry, about some stop following..

    kim
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  11. Thanks guys! It's so nice to hear other people's opinions on this.
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