Marriage Makes Me...

Marriage isn't supposed to make you happy - it's supposed to make you married. ~ Frank Pittman



Photo credit: gracey from morguefile.com


I read that quote online yesterday and it really got me thinking. It couldn't be more true really. I had a conversation one time with a woman who'd gotten engaged to someone after not knowing them for very long. She had just moved in with them and they were going through a very rough patch. They were both under a lot of stress and she kept saying, "I can't wait to get married - everything will be better once we're finally married." I kept thinking to myself how is that going to help?

The act of getting married itself shouldn't "make" us something - be it happy, more fulfilled, whatever. If it does it's generally just a temporary high. Becoming Mr. and Mrs. is a holy and wonderful thing but it doesn't magically make us better communicators, more sensitive or more empathetic. You can't expect that if you're having major problems that getting married will just solve that - that logic has always alluded me! It's like the people who are having problems in their marriage who decide to have kids (or more kids) to "fix" things...because that obviously doesn't create more problems! (That was sarcasm, by the way!)

Getting married doesn't mean everything will be roses and you'll never fight again. Marriage is an on-going battle of wills - and that's not necessarily a bad thing. As long as we know how to pick and choose our battles and how to fight fair, that's all that really matters. Most of how a marriage "makes you" depends on how you handle things after the wedding! Check out Love Is A Way of Life and/or The Clothes of Marriage for more about that!

4 comments :

  1. "Becoming Mr. and Mrs. is a holy and wonderful thing but it doesn't magically make us better communicators, more sensitive or more empathetic. You can't expect that if you're having major problems that getting married will just solve that"

    I love that you said that because it is SO true. I hate how people rush into marriage for the ONLY reason that they think it'll help them stop fighting.

    p.s...how were u able to track ip addresses? i need that!

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  2. Thanks Steph! :-) I have personal experience in fast tracking your marriage (lol) and it definitely doesn't solve any problems you had before! Some things about it are good but you also have to really be committed & in tune with one another, or willing to learn how to be those things! It really surprises me how much people think it doesn't matter.

    Statcounter.com has great tracking software - it lists TONS of different things about the people that visit your website.

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  3. You are so right and yes, a lot of women think it will be better when they get married or when they have a child. Neither one of those will fix the problems a couple has. The problems will still be there. The only difference is you will be legally committed to the othernperson. Yes, people have to learn to pick their battles and save the battles for the important issues. One problem a lot of couples have is they need to learn to listen to their partner and really hear what they are saying. But, they also need to learn to fight fair and deal with the problem at hand. One problem at a time without bringing the past into the argument. Very good blog!!!

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  4. I was just thinking the other day about how marriage is totally about maintenance. You can't expect to have a beautiful garden if you don't water and weed it. You can't expect to have a beautiful marriage unless you work on it regularly...but if you do, the rewards are awesome!

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