I have several posts that are halfway to almost completely finished but I just had to get this off my chest first. Things suck. Well, things could be much worse. But I'm in a funk and I want to complain. I have tons of emails to read, comments to reply to and things to do around my house but I just haven't had time. (Well, that's not *entirely* true. I just have been doing very badly at managing our time right now.) So please don't be offended if I haven't gotten back to you or you feel like you've gotten the brush-off from me - rest assured, life is just busy at the moment. Hubby is working. A LOT. And I do mean a LOT. He works hard and I am very grateful that he is the provider for our family. He has always supported me in wanting to stay at home with our children and has been my biggest supporter when people have made me feel like I should do otherwise. He worked a lot at his previous job but this is even more than that. So consequently we're all experiencing some stress right now. He's gone a lot and comes home exhausted from working so many hours. The kids delight in seeing him and spending time with him and so they're sad (and sometimes act out) when he's basically just here to sleep. He and I are both disappointed he can't be here more and are having trouble connecting since we're not seeing each other much.
We were honestly ALL so much more happy when he was unemployed. Yes, it sucked that he didn't have a job and that things were a *lot* more tight but money isn't everything. Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to sound ungrateful about his current job - I'm very glad that he has it because jobs are hard to come by. But financial goodness does not a family make. When he was out of work, we were able to spend tons of time together and to find the simple joy in watching a TV show together and discussing it, taking care of the kids together, eating meals as a family, going to church together, etc. He more than happily babysat for me so I could get some alone time, was able to get involved with different activities and attend things with us.
Today he actually had a day off - the first in awhile - but he did have to spend a large portion of it sleeping to try and catch up. For the rest of it, he and I ended up grouching at each other most of the day (because we're both tired and frazzled) about basically everything and looking back on it now, it saddens me greatly. His one day off and we spent it in anger and silent frustration. It also wasn't a very good example for our kids.
I'm sure this is a transitional phase and that things will work out. This is obviously a period of change for our family and I know that God has a plan for us even if I can't see it. It's just difficult when you don't know the outcome and you're unsure about where you are in the here and now, know what I mean? Regardless though,
"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." - Philippians 4:12-13