Well, Crap.

I have several posts that are halfway to almost completely finished but I just had to get this off my chest first. Things suck. Well, things could be much worse. But I'm in a funk and I want to complain. I have tons of emails to read, comments to reply to and things to do around my house but I just haven't had time. (Well, that's not *entirely* true. I just have been doing very badly at managing our time right now.) So please don't be offended if I haven't gotten back to you or you feel like you've gotten the brush-off from me - rest assured, life is just busy at the moment. Hubby is working. A LOT. And I do mean a LOT. He works hard and I am very grateful that he is the provider for our family. He has always supported me in wanting to stay at home with our children and has been my biggest supporter when people have made me feel like I should do otherwise. He worked a lot at his previous job but this is even more than that. So consequently we're all experiencing some stress right now. He's gone a lot and comes home exhausted from working so many hours. The kids delight in seeing him and spending time with him and so they're sad (and sometimes act out) when he's basically just here to sleep. He and I are both disappointed he can't be here more and are having trouble connecting since we're not seeing each other much.
We were honestly ALL so much more happy when he was unemployed. Yes, it sucked that he didn't have a job and that things were a *lot* more tight but money isn't everything. Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to sound ungrateful about his current job - I'm very glad that he has it because jobs are hard to come by. But financial goodness does not a family make. When he was out of work, we were able to spend tons of time together and to find the simple joy in watching a TV show together and discussing it, taking care of the kids together, eating meals as a family, going to church together, etc. He more than happily babysat for me so I could get some alone time, was able to get involved with different activities and attend things with us.
Today he actually had a day off - the first in awhile - but he did have to spend a large portion of it sleeping to try and catch up. For the rest of it, he and I ended up grouching at each other most of the day (because we're both tired and frazzled) about basically everything and looking back on it now, it saddens me greatly. His one day off and we spent it in anger and silent frustration. It also wasn't a very good example for our kids.
I'm sure this is a transitional phase and that things will work out. This is obviously a period of change for our family and I know that God has a plan for us even if I can't see it. It's just difficult when you don't know the outcome and you're unsure about where you are in the here and now, know what I mean? Regardless though,

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." - Philippians 4:12-13

7 comments :

  1. Hang in there! It is hard when our husbands work so hard. Luckily, it's not too bad here right now, but there are weeks when he works out of town, or works side jobs besides his normal work, etc. Hopefully your situation won't last forever and you guys can find time to reconnect. But, I know when my husband used to work out of town, we would only have Sat. together and then we would start arguing on Sunday. Then he'd leave. Oh joy! But, it didn't last forever! Like I said, Hang in there!! Your bible verse is perfect!

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  2. "But financial goodness does not a family make." You're definitely right. Although it's hard right now, the money will help for the time being. I'm sure later on he won't have to work as much and that'll be better for you all. *hugs* I hope things get better. Why don't you make it up to Daniel and go give him some kisses and tell him you're sorry?

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  3. Ugh, it's hard to cope when you take such a life change..husband home all day to not home enough. I have been there when my husband has worked weeks of overtime and I know how frustrating and tired you can get. Just hang in there...God has a plan for this and it will work out in His timing :) Keep the faith girlie!

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  4. It will definitely get better! You guys just need to get into your routine and get readjusted to the change. I know exactly what you mean. When Cory was unemployed it was actually kind of nice. Then when he got a job working 40 hours a week again and going to school FT it just made me grumpy all the time that he wasn't here for Jonah or I, and that when he was, he was doing homework or working outside. Definitely a time of transition. I just bought The Love Dare for us. Thought we could use a little spark. (:

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  5. I know exactly how you feel!! with having no internet I have been drowning in e-mails and suffering from lack of motivation. My hubby has been out of work for over a year now and he's hopefully going back soon. I struggle with the same issues, love how peaceful our family is, how smoothly things run etc.. But i will miss miss miss him most of all!! But we desperately need the money, and it is nice to get him out of the house lol!!

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  6. Thanks everyone - I appreciate the comments so much. I think things will get better in time...I'm just having a lot of trouble being patient and trusting right now. :)

    Carol, you'll have to let me know how The Love Dare is - I saw it in the store & almost bought it!

    Eschelle, I can definitely understand that! Although I do miss him a LOT, it is nice to have some more alone time. If only we could get a really good balance of together time AND alone time! haha

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  7. so sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed. it must be so hard not to have your hubby around as much. i hope you guys are able to find time to spend together soon.

    http://spinning-threads.blogspot.com

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