Bear with me...this post kind of jumps around all over the place. The last few weeks knocked me off of...well, my schedules for everything really. I'm just now getting back into my groove. I hadn't been getting up early like I planned. I'd been doing less of everything - cleaning, blogging, cooking, etc. My homeschool planning had gotten to where I was writing down our schedule AFTER we'd already done our work for the day. That two weeks of sickness we had started it all, I guess...
One of the kids got pink eye and spread it to the other. Giving the youngest her eye ointment was a chore in itself. "Oh, so I'll put some ointment on my finger and then stick in my two year old's eye...that'll be easy!" (If anyone happened to walk past the house when we were putting it in her eyes, I promise that no one was being murdered...she was just screaming loud enough for you to think they might be. Seriously...that kid has pipes!) Hubby had a fever so bad one evening that when I was laying next to him in bed I could FEEL the heat radiating off of him. I myself was sick too that threw my housekeeping/clutter control schedule right out the window. I've been feeling like I'm surrounded by never-ending chores: laundry piles up so quickly, tables get covered with clutter, toys get strung out, carpets need vacuumed, etc.
My husband is an awesome person. (He's probably rolling his eyes right now.) He really deserves to have some kudos sent his way. As you'll know if you read my blog, he's currently unemployed and trying to find work. Even though unemployment can be a depressing or frustrating time, he is taking it day by day and continually amazes me at how much he cares about me and our family. We attended a marriage seminar at my parents church a week or two ago and have had some great discussion about the topics & how they related to us. He has been cooking dinner several times a week and doing chores. He's been reading more, watching less TV and has kept involved with our political party of choice and our church. He's been reading to the kids nightly before bed from a book they got at church about Lent. He's also been letting them help him with chores, getting involved in their schoolwork and reading to them during the day as well. Seriously...this man rocks. I'm very blessed to have him.
Ellie and her Terrible Threes are incredibly challenging and some days I feel like all I do is talk to the walls (since SHE'S obviously not listening) but she's still my little girl. The little girl who only wants to cuddle with me when she's sick or who asks, "But WHY?" to almost everything. The little girl who runs around in a giant cowboy hat on her stick horse. The little girl who is going to have a tea party birthday in just a few days and couldn't be more excited. I'm also blessed to have her big brother who is in a pretty good stage right now - thank goodness...if they were both in bad stages I'd probably lose my mind! He's been wanting to be more of a helper to his Dad & I and has really been working on his reading skills. It is hard work being a parent sometimes but I wouldn't trade it for anything else.
And of course, I am continually blessed with God and his unfailing grace. I read a quote the other day (probably on Pinterest) that said, "Mistakes are just proof that you are trying." I guess that's something that really gets me. I try sooooo hard some days and then feel like I'm just a huge failure when things get messed up. Maybe it's the Yoda in me? ("Do or do not. There is no try.") I visited a different church last week and the Pastor's message really hit home with me. The basic premise was this:
God knew ALL the things you were going to do before you did. I guess that sounds simple enough but really, truly think about it. He knew about your struggles, your problems, all the challenges you would face and the mistakes you would make. He knew that you would try and fail, try and fail, try and fail. He knew you would sin, that you would hurt others, that you would lie, covet, lust, and be greedy. He even knew you might reject him at some point in time. But guess what? He loves you anyway.
God knows about all of my failures and loves me regardless. That gives me solace and comforts me. It reassures me that not only can I try again, but also that just because something is messed up, that doesn't mean it's ruined. God has faith in me. I can rest in the knowledge that I'm right where I need to be.