Have you as a mother ever felt desperate? Don't get me wrong - motherhood is incredibly fulfilling and there are SO many good moments. I love my kids and I wouldn't trade it for a thing in the world. But have you ever had one of those days where you feel crazy, like you need a second to just breathe?
You know what I'm talking about. When the kids all wake up in the middle of the night sick and you're lucky to get out of your pajamas the next day, let alone shower. Or the days when the laundry piles up to the ceiling and the dishes stink but you have a newborn and toddler that are demanding your full attention. The days when your kids seem to be purposely pushing every single button and disobeying every rule under the sun. I know I've had days like that - especially when there's a new little one in the house - and I expect every other mother on Earth has too at some point in time. Sarah Mae has:
“I wish someone would have told me, tried to prepare me, for just how hard motherhood would be. When things got really bad, I tried to reach out for help in small ways, but I never wanted to put anyone else out, so I would act like I was fine. In reality, I was getting worse. I wasn’t spending time with friends, I didn’t have anyone to watch the babes, so I could get out or go on a date with my husband, and I was lost in a wreckage of undisciplined activity. I thought I could do this mothering thing without other women, but it turned out, I couldn’t. I needed help; I needed a mentor.”
I've long been a fan of Sarah Mae, Sally Clarkson, and their respective books. So when I heard they were collaborating on a book for moms I was instantly excited. It doesn't disappoint either! It's an amazing read. Not because it blows your mind with magical formulas for managing motherhood and becoming a "Super Mom." Instead, it's amazingness comes from the simple wisdom found within it's pages. It reassures those in the chaotic stages of young motherhood that they are not alone, that a mentor can be their ally, and that there is a peace that can be found within the madness. And for the moms whose children have grown, it encourages them to gently mentor and guide younger ladies who could benefit from their wisdom. It really drives home the idea that moms of all kinds need each other for encouragement, support, reassurance, and spiritual guidance.
I find this to be so true in my own life. When my first child was born, I was just 19 and my friends from High School were all busy with college classes, boyfriends, and exams - none of them had children or were married. Although I did see them occasionally, we were on separate paths. As time went on, I began to feel very alone. I had my husband of course but there is something about a friendship or sisterhood that is unique and special. I don't think I was depressed really but I was lonely and I became more lazy at home. Instead of doing the dishes or the laundry, I would sit at the computer for hours when the baby was sleeping to play games or talk to online friends I had made. (While the online friends part isn't necessarily bad, I was definitely spending too much time online and not taking care of my household.)
Luckily, I realized the error in my thinking and turned over a new leaf. (Well...for the most part - I'm still not always the world's best housekeeper!) I began to seek out friendships within my church and community - and I have been blessed with some great friends and mentors. However, I've found that it's all too easy to slip back into that "alone" stage when motherhood and life get busy - we put the friendships and mentors on the back-burner, don't check in with one another, and suddenly we're adrift in a desperate sea of mothering alone. This book was a good kick in the pants for me to check in with all my momma friends & see how they're doing. And it inspired me to organize a small group study for the ladies within my church and circle of friends/family. I think it is something we all could really benefit from. I know several moms who are in that "desperate" stage and several older moms whose children have grown who would be excellent mentors to them.
To learn more about this book, visit DesperateMom.com - you'll find tons of good resources, a sample chapter, a small group study guide, giveaways and more! You can also purchase it through Thomas Nelson or Amazon.com.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com