Homeschooling and Self-Doubt

As our first year of homeschooling draws nearer, I've been thinking about a lot of things. My son is going to be starting kindergarten and we're choosing to homeschool...and I've begun to have doubts. Not in my child or his socialization or anything to do with him really...I have self-doubt. Every time I sit down to lesson plan or think about the year ahead, the questions immediately start popping into my mind: Am I smart enough to homeschool? What if I get stressed out? How will I handle homeschooling my son and taking care of the baby? Will I be able to teach Math? (I really suck at Math.) What if I have more kids? Will I homeschool them all? What if he doesn't like homeschooling?
Of course, some of these questions I won't have to worry about for many more years and some will probably never happen...but they still come to me regardless. While sorting through some things in my bedroom the other day, I happened upon one of my old pen and paper journals. In it, I found an entry from not too long after I found out I was pregnant with my son. I was excited but also incredibly nervous. I was having an episode of self-doubt, similar to what I'm experiencing now. I had written questions like: Will I be a good Mom? How will I know what to do with the baby? Will the baby cry a lot? What if the baby doesn't like me? How will I know what it needs?
I was incredibly nervous about becoming a parent and I obviously didn't just transform into Mrs. Magical Mom that could solve any problem with a potato. I've messed up, made mistakes and just plain did things that were stupid. But I've also learned a lot too...and I think I've done a pretty good job so far. I obviously thought being a Mom was okay because I had another kid! :) And of course, God has helped me along the journey - blessing us with great kids that (generally) like to sleep, helping me and my husband to know what's right and wrong for our family, giving me a helping hand in the form of family members, etc.
Parenting has it's ups and downs, it's mysteries and miracles but through it all you find something that works for you - and that's all that really matters. And I think the same can be said about our homeschooling journey. Yes, I'm a little nervous now but once we get started and figure out what's right for us, I think we'll do just fine. Also, this gives me a chance to quash that self-doubt that likes to sneak up on me when I'm trying something new or embarking on a journey. Prayer is always helpful to calm my fear and soothe my troubled mind - my prayer today is to put more faith in myself, my abilities and most importantly, God.

image source

In Need of Mamavation!

I took a leap of faith today and sent my application in to the Mamavation contest. What is Mamavation? I'm so glad you asked! :)

Mamavation™ is a social experiment and weight loss campaign in social media with the goals of teaching moms healthy living lifestyle choices so they can share with their family. Mamavation™ is a two part campaign: (1) a virtual healthy living boot camp for two moms and (2) the home of the first virtual healthy living sorority in social media, the Sistahood™.

As a healthy living bootcamp, Mamavation™ is an opportunity for two moms (Mamavation™ Moms) to change their lives together by entering into a 7 week healthy living boot camp created to give them the tools they need to succeed. The will receive a professional nutritional plan created by a physician that specializes in nutrition, Dr. Renna, and a fitness program created by Tracey Mallett. They will also receive a treadmill from Smooth Fitness, Earth Footwear, an EA SPORTS Active, Tracey Mallett and Tae Bo DVDs. The program was created and is managed by @bookieboo, with the goal of teaching moms how to live life better. The Mamavation™ campaign plans to give them the tools they need to succeed, in hopes that they will create a healthy lifestyle for themselves and their families.

As the Mamavation™ Moms complete their 7 week crash course in healthy living, they will be supported by an army of moms. The Mamavation™ Cheerleader squad and Mamavation™ Sistahood™ will be behind them every step of the way. They will receive a Mamavation™ Mentor, which is a mom that completed the program and has stuck around to mentor another. And they will also be required to have a "fit friend," or someone who they know that already lives a healthy lifestyle.

The campaign will unfold on Bookieboo where the Mamavation™ moms will keep a daily food/exercise journal. They will appear on Mingle Media TV Network every Monday at 7pm PST/10pm EST as well. The Mamavation™ Moms will also be expected to post about their Mamavation experience and be available on twitter to talk about their experiences and inspire everyone. In addition, they will do a vlog every week chronicling their journey losing weight. The purpose behind all this "work" is to INSPIRE others. The Mamavation™ Moms are challenged with losing weight and learning healthy living and inspiring other moms to do the same--a hefty challenge but admirable one.


It sounds like a great opportunity, right? I'm really excited to be involved! You can read more about the contest OR apply yourself by clicking the button below!





And here is my video application! I was fiddling with the camera in the beginning so it took me a second to get started! :)




I would love it if you all would support me in this endeavor! If you're on Twitter it would help me out bunches if you could retweet this: "Hey @bookieboo! I want @mrsaddison to be the next #Mamavation Mom. She has my support! http://bit.ly/zqUxa"

Thank you all soooooo much! I'll keep you updated on how things are going! :)

Wordless Wednesday: Handsome Hubby & Me

To see my previous Wordless Wednesday posts, click here!

Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Week 2010

Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Week is something I try and participate in every year in one way or another. This year I'm hoping to spread awareness through my blog and social networks. If you have no clue about this or why I participate, let me inform you.

Congenital heart disease is the most common birth defect and the leading cause of birth-defect related deaths worldwide. Oftentimes the defects are genetic but in many cases, the cause is unknown. To see a full list of congenital heart defects, go here.

CHD affects approximately 1.8 million families in the United States alone but sadly there is little funding that goes into research, support and education for patients and parents. The organization CHIN (Congenital Heart Information Network) hopes to raise awareness by sharing real-life experiences and providing information. They hope that in educating the public there will be improved early diagnosis, more funding and research.

CHD has affected me personally. I was diagnosed with Mitral Valve Prolapse my senior year of High School. Mitral Valve Prolapse (MVP) is – in non-technical terms – when the valve separating two of your heart's chambers doesn't work right. In my case, the valve regurgitates blood back the wrong way, which in turn causes my heart to race extremely fast.
The Mayo Clinic states: "Although MVP is a lifetime disorder, many people with this condition never have signs and symptoms. When diagnosed, people may be surprised to learn that they have a heart abnormality because of the absence of signs and symptoms." My symptoms started slowly and then got gradually worse until I couldn't even participate in Marching Band or most physical activities anymore because I felt like I couldn't breathe. It felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest.
My regular doctor referred me to a cardiologist because of my fast heart rate and breathing problems. I wore a halter monitor for a few days so he could see what was going on. According to the monitor, my heart rate fluctuated and at times when I was active or stressed it would go upwards of 150 beats or more per minute. If I was stressed or overworked, I would often go into a panic attack that felt much like a heart attack. He recommended that I start taking Toprol. Toprol is a beta-blocker that helps slow my heart rate and lower my blood pressure.
I also found out that I have a small hole in my heart – a congenital heart defect that I have probably had since birth. It's really nothing to worry about - for now - but I have to get an echocardiogram done once a year to check it out and make sure that it hasn't gotten any bigger or changed in any way. I have an excellent cardiologist who is really on top of everything and I completely trust him.

So I take medicine and it helps my problem but it's never fully going to go away. It's something I'll have to live with forever. I have to check out every medication I take with my cardiologist to make sure there's no drug interactions. If I were to take anything with aspirin in it, it could really mess me up. I can't forget to take my medicine either – if you just stop taking it, it can cause serious problems. Whenever I get pregnant, I am typically classified as high risk, although I've had no issues giving birth. Eventually I could have to have a valve replacement - but that's a long way down the road, if it even comes to pass. MVP has also caused me to occasionally have panic and anxiety attacks. Luckily, I've been able to keep this to a minimum with breathing and relaxation techniques.

I could have it a lot worse and I'm thankful that I don't. I'm one of the lucky ones that gets to take medicine and feel better. But there are many people out there who have to go through procedure after procedure and surgery after surgery. I've gotten involved in advocacy of heart awareness because I think that every child that is born should have a mandatory heart screening and because I want people to be more aware of these issues. I hope you'll take a moment to visit one of the websites listed below or pass the information along to someone else!

*Facts and information for this blog post was taken from:

- The Congenital Heart Information Network

- The American Heart Association

- The Mayo Clinic webpage on CHD

-  Congenital Heart Defects.com

Ask Mrs. Addison

I've seen some other bloggers do this recently so I thought I would try it too!
I'm opening up a post for you to feel free to ask me any questions about me, my family, beliefs, favorites, hobbies, anything! They can be really thought out questions or just off the top of your head. If you have any questions for the hubby or kids, feel free to ask those too. Just be forewarned that any questions to Ellie will be limited in their responses and will probably not make much sense - i.e. Mama, Dada, Bruhbruh, etc. :) You should also be forewarned that I won't answer questions that I don't think are appropriate - otherwise, have at it! Hopefully this will help you to learn some more about me & the family and I'll learn more about my readers & the things they're interested in. I'll wait until there's a good amount of questions and then post our responses in a new post.

Friday Photo Flashback

I'm participating in Friday Photo Flashback today! (I do actually have some more real posts in the works - just haven't had a chance to finish them up. Rest assured they will be posted soon, though!) FPF is hosted by More Than Words so head on over to her blog to join in the fun. I decided today to post the photo I was using for Facebook's "Retro Week" - myself as a baby! I'm not sure how old I was exactly (guess I will have to ask Mom or Dad) but probably a little younger than a year and I was taking a sink bath. :)

Theta Mom Thursday

I'm joining Theta Mom Thursday this month! Head over to Theta Mom's blog to leave your link if you'd like to participate too. It's hosted by Theta Mom herself and is a time once a month where moms blog about an hour that they found during the month to spend on themselves without the kids.

My alone time has not happened yet but will be happening this Saturday! I am going out with a very good friend to celebrate her birthday! We're going to a nice sit-down restaurant and I will actually be able to eat in peace without having to cut up anyone's food, clean up a spill or take someone to the potty. And it's even better because I already have a gift card for the restaurant so I won't have to spend any money. Wooooo!

Not Entirely Wordless Wednesday: Eulogy

I know today is traditionally Wordless Wednesday but I just wanted to pause today and remember a very big part of my childhood that ended today. My cat Princess had to be put to sleep today. About a month before my sixth birthday, my Dad was leaving work when he saw a tiny kitten in the middle of the road. He saved her from being hit by a semi and brought her home in his jacket. I remember him coming in and saying, "Sara (that's my mom's name) don't get mad!" I went gaga over the little bitty baby kitty who was very cautiously exploring our kitchen and of course we got to keep her. I don't know if Princess was a totally appropriate name for her (as you'll see when you read on) but hey, I was a little girl.
She was never really a typical cat. She'd been abandoned (or lost, we're not sure) before she was weaned so she was always a little shorter and smaller than most normal sized house cats. And she was never really a loving, cuddly cat like some I have seen. I don't know if it's because she had abandonment issues with her mom or just because she had a wild streak, but she would be fine with you petting her one moment and the next she'd rip your hand open. She hated most men, especially my friend Brady - when he walked into our house she'd immediately start hissing and all the fur on her back would stand up. The only men she ever really tolerated were my great-grandpa, my dad and my husband.

In addition to her bipolar disorder and men-hating tendencies, she was also quite fun. She liked to run up and down the piano in the middle of the night and scare everyone to death. She slept in the oddest places and liked to warm her paws on any heat source she could find. She was a good mouser. She could frighten off any dog, regardless of size, that threatened any of our family or came into our yard. I always thought if she could speak she would sound a crazy old chain-smoking lady.
She had a soft side too. When she was in the mood, she adored being petted. If you stopped, she would nudge your hand or stare you down until you started to pet her again. She liked to snuggle up in the crook of my arm when I was going to bed. When I moved out of my parent's house when I got married, Princess was very offended and it took her awhile to forgive me. But the last time I spent the night at my parent's house, I laid down to go to sleep and not five minutes later, I felt something fuzzy climbing across me and burying itself into the crook of my arm.

Perhaps this seems silly, a eulogy for a cat, but she was a part of my family for seventeen years - I guess this is my way to honor her. I was glad to hear that at the vet's office today, even in her final moments, she took some time to attack the vet. She was good 'ol Princess right up to the end. Good luck to the angel in Cat Heaven that has to handle her! :)

Just dropping in for a bit!

Sorry for the lack of posts already in this new year! I have a pinched nerve in my shoulder/back/arm that's been giving me a lot of trouble. I've been trying to rest it and am thankfully almost recovered. I have a lot of posts that are sitting around half finished that I'll get to finishing this weekend and posting next week! :) For now, I'll just leave you with some posts/stories I've enjoyed recently.

Heidi Klum Launching Two Maternity Lines @ People.com (I love her!)

The Lowdown on Finding & Keeping a Good Babysitter @ The Practical Mom Guide (Some very good ideas!)

Breast Cancer Awareness: More Helpful than Bra Color @ Generation Cedar (As a side note, when I got that bra thing forwarded to me on Facebook, it didn't mention anything about breast cancer awareness!)

Free Custom Blog Makeover @ I'd Rather Be Changing Diapers (Sounds awesome!)

Wordless Wednesday: Momma, Quit That!

pictures by my friend Keshia

A Look Back...and Ahead

Well, 2009 has drawn to a close. It seems like time is either going too fast or too slow - you're in a stage or place you hate and time just keeps creeping by, or you love this point in your life and time is just flying by.
This year has been incredible. There have been hard times and struggles, but there's also been a lot of laughter and love. My son started school, my precious daughter was born and I think I've learned a lot. My husband still has a job, we have all of our needs met (and then some!) and are doing pretty well, overall. I had another birthday and I've begun to discover that it's just another day. I saw someone come back from the brink of death. I've lost contact with some people and made several new friends who I have become really close to. I've begun to realize the type of people I want to be around and the people that aren't good for me. I think I've become more mature. My extended family has grown and changed - we've welcomed new babies, celebrated marriage and also heard a diagnosis or two that wasn't that great. I look forward to all of the things that will be happening this year and I hope that it will be even brighter and more blessed than last year.
I'm not making any resolutions in particular but I do want to strive to see what's really important to me, to cut the bad out of my life and to focus on the good. I wish you all the best for your new year as well!

An Introduction of Sorts

Most of you reading already know me but there are a few of you who don't. So for the ones who don't, I thought I'd tell some more about myself, my family and the blog.

NOTE: I now have an ABOUT ME page that I will be updating with more current information. :)

Click here to read the rest of this entry >>